Pocket Notebooks

A couple years ago, Matt (or my mom?... I feel like this was Matt's idea though) had given me a VW bus calendar, and he said it was the closest I would get to owning one of them. I have always wanted a hip, shiny old VW bus because they are so darn cute and colorful and fun. But apparently they are also known to be a wee bit dangerous because there is nothing in the front of the bus to protect you in a collision. So Matt said no... as if it was a real possibility in the first place. I never threw out the calendar though, because it really was the closest I would be to owning one.

When I started my Etsy shop, I knew that one thing people always like to buy are journals or notebooks. I had made little pocket notebooks out of that VW bus calendar of mine, and I decided wanted to share them with people. I thought they were super fun and conveniently sized, and my little connection to the hippie bus world was right in my purse with me all of the time. It seemed that other people wanted their own little VW bus in their pockets too. (There are still some VW bus notebooks left in my shop if you would like one in your pocket.)

Since these little notebooks were a small hit, I made more out of an old calendar of Matt's. This was was a travel/adventure/exploration themed calendar, and I think they turned out nicely. Now I am going to show them to you.

There they are. They are also colorful and fun, and they made me want to go hiking and climbing and mountaineering and to the beach and to the mountains and up in a hot air balloon.

All the notebooks are covered on the front and back with a continuous picture from the calendar.

Inside, these have thick white card stock pages (the pages in the bus calendars were thinner), and there are 12 pages (or 24 front and back) in each pocket notebook.

I sewed the binding on each of the notebooks with sewing thread. It is sturdy and durable, and I think sewn bindings look kinda fun. The pages were so thick that it was much harder to sew these bindings than the ones on the bus notebooks.

I think these would be great for adventure journals, hiking records, route notes, etc. ...especially the mountain ones. Of course they would also be great little pocket notebooks for making lists and jotting down reminders for anyone who enjoys a nice picture of nature. They could make a nice gift too.

Pass these on to anyone you think might like them! You can find them via the links in this post and also by clicking on my little "I sell on Etsy" button on this webpage or by going to https://www.etsy.com/shop/ExchangingAshes . I hope you enjoy viewing what I enjoy doing ;] 

Daring Greatly

A number of years ago, I found my social work someone. Her name is Brene Brown. She did a TED talk that went viral, so many of you probably have already seen it. It is called "The Power of Vulnerability." I have posted it below.

Brene ended up writing a book (her 3rd book) called Daring Greatly that went more into detail about all of the things that she talked about in this video and her other video called "Listening to Shame," and then some. The main negative comment that both the book and video get is that we all know this stuff already. Maybe we do... but have we ever confronted it? Even if we know vulnerability can be good, we still avoid it. We still stick with our shame and don't embrace worthiness. I think Brene makes us think about the way we live through her talks and her book; I think she is so passionate because she convinced herself that she could live happily without vulnerability (as many of us do), and then she found out that really was not true. She had to deal with it; we have to deal with it. Shame, vulnerability, worthiness... we have to deal with these things to live "wholeheartedly," as Brene says.

Because I believe it is important to think about these things, I am going to mention note some of my favorite points from the book:

• We live in a scarcity culture that is "steeped in comparison" - everyone is hyperaware of what we lack. This makes us shame-prone; we have trouble seeing ourselves as enough or feeling worthy of love and belonging when we are always thinking of what is lacking in our life, our world, and ourselves.
• Vulnerability is not weakness. It is daring greatly; it is courageous, and it is freeing. "Often the result of daring greatly isn't a victory march as much as it is a quiet sense of freedom mixed with a little battle fatigue."
• If we don't lean into vulnerability, recognize our shame, and feel the pain, we also won't be able to feel the joy. We often stifle joy by trying to outperform and numb our shame instead of leaning into our feeling and living in the present.
• Living wholeheartedly, and believing we are enough, leads to healthy boundaries in our lives: being able to say no and working on connection with the people who we love and who matter to us. 
• "Connectivity means sharing our stories with people who have earned the right to hear them." True vulnerability is not just a willy-nilly dumping of the most raw parts of ourselves on anyone; it is meant to be employed in trusting relationships.
• Worthiness does not have prerequisites. 
• Hope comes through struggle.

I am still working on seeing myself as worthy of love and belonging, and not shaming myself when I make mistakes. I am still learning about vulnerability and boundaries. I am trying to let go of some of my perfectionistic and people-pleasing tendencies that can steal my joy. I believe that thinking about these things, checking myself often, and knowing where I am and where I want to be are important steps in the process. I hope we can all work on embracing vulnerability and connection with each other so that we can live meaningful lives with the people we love. I think it is worth it.

I recommend all of Brene's talks and books, because even though it might not be brand new information for everyone, she writes and talks in ways that are both convicting and comforting, urging us to confront ourselves on our own journeys toward wholeheartedness.

His Eye is on the Sparrow

There is an old hymn that my grandmother used to sing. I remember her singing the last two lines of the chorus while she walked around the house:

Why should I feel discouraged, why should the shadows come,

Why should my heart be lonely, and long for heaven and home,

When Jesus is my portion? My constant friend is He:

His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;

His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

Refrain

I sing because I’m happy,

I sing because I’m free,

For His eye is on the sparrow,

And I know He watches me.

“Let not your heart be troubled,” His tender word I hear,

And resting on His goodness, I lose my doubts and fears;

Though by the path He leadeth, but one step I may see;

His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;

His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

Refrain

Whenever I am tempted, whenever clouds arise,

When songs give place to sighing, when hope within me dies,

I draw the closer to Him, from care He sets me free;

His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;

His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

[Civilla D. Martin, 1905]

Listen to a great version here ;]

I didn't know that this biblical truth (Matthew 6:25-34 & Luke 12:6-7) that the Lord cares for me (even more than the birds) would become a recurring solace for me in anxiety, but I am glad that my Grandma started singing that truth around me early on, because I need it in my life.

Another major time I needed, and found, this truth was in college. I needed it all the years but found it on the wall when I was living in an apartment off Baxter Street with some dear friends, Hannah and Alicia. When I moved in, they had a painted window of some birds and the verse in Matthew 6 that said "Look at the birds of the air... are you not much more valuable than they?" The year I lived with Hannah and Alicia was a year of monumental growth for me in confronting my anxiety as well as my defense and coping mechanisms (here's my plug for Christian counseling/therapy - it's great). I think the Lord had placed this little painting in our apartment as another reminder to me that He was there, and I didn't have to do everything on my own.

I tried to do everything on my own for different reasons: I thought I always had to be strong, I didn't allow myself freedom to fail or just be, and I did not necessarily believe that I was worthy of the Lord's affection or attention or caring watch. And in myself I am not worthy, but I am because He makes me worthy. It is a hard truth to swallow sometimes; I am not, but I am - The I am is, so I am. Why does he love me? I don't know. But He does. He loves me when I am weak and when I fail and even when I try to go it alone. And that love is beautiful if I accept it. He's got me; when I believe this, I am so much more at peace, I can encourage others, and I am sure I shine more of His light.

In an effort to remind myself of truth that I clearly need in my life, I made a copycat of the window painting from our UGA apartment. When Matt and I moved in to our new home in CT, someone was throwing out some old windows, so I snagged a few and put this one to use for my own home. I sanded the frame, secured all the pieces, and gave the frame a new layer of white paint. After cleaning the window I painted the birds on the glass and started tracing the words of the Matthew 6 verse.

When I finished painting and it was all dry, I screwed in two picture hangers on the back and hung it on two screws in the wall. It now sits in our living room over the TV. I hope it will continue to be a gentle reminder that He takes care of the birds and he takes care of me. He sees the birds and he sees me. His eye is on the sparrow, and I know he watches me.

One Year Later...

Hello!

It has been almost a year since my first post on this blog, and I am thinking for real that I may actually try to use this as a platform of self expression (like I said I would). A lot has happened in the last year. Matt and I both graduated college, Matt found a job, we had a most spectacular summer (traveled to Europe, went on our first cruise, and mountaineered up to the top of the Grand Teton), then we moved to Connecticut, we adopted a puppy, and we found a place to live. I actually DID start an Etsy shop, and my most popular item to date has been the VW bus mini notebooks. I haven't found a job here in CT, so I spend my days cleaning, doing laundry, reading, cooking, crafting, indulging in Netflix, and hanging out with Daisy. I have been feeling quite domestic.

Now it is February, and we have experienced winter like never before. After the new year, winter really showed up. We have had snow... so much snow. Two winter storms and snow days upon snow days. Cabin fever really kicks in for me on the snow days. One good thing about the snow days is they always feel like an excuse to curl up with a good book. I am now on my 5th book of 2015!
I will take a moment to promote the books I have read this year:

• Quiet by Susan Cain (started this one in 2014 so maybe it's cheating to count it, but oh well); this book is packed full of great insight about introverts and our culture in America and how the two sometimes clash. Susan Cain makes me feel good about being an introvert.
• Yes Please by Amy Poehler; Amy is so funny. I really enjoy memoirs of all kinds, but it is especially fun when you read one from a funny famous person (I also recommend Mindy Kaling and Tina Fey's books). Amy is honest and real, and you feel like you get to know her.
• Bread & Wine by Shauna Niequist; Shauna is so relatable. Her writing had me saying, "yes, that," over and over and over again. This book is also a little bit like a memoir; Shauna writes short stories that are reflections of times in her life, but the theme behind it all is food and bringing people together to eat around the table. At the end of almost every chapter she has a recipe with wonderful instructions. Shauna makes your heart feel full and makes you feel capable of making a real meal.
• Wild by Cheryl Strayed; of course I had to read this book before I saw the movie. Check. This book makes me thankful that, as a Christian, I have hope beyond my circumstances (even though I honestly have a hard time clinging to that). This books presents themes of grief, spiraling, coping, and healing. Cheryl's healing came on a long backpacking trip on the Pacific Crest Trail, and the main thing her book made me want to do was go backpack the trail! I would love to be that cool (and I basically think I can do anything after climbing the Grand, pshh... [I wish]). 

Now I am reading Daring Greatly by Brene Brown. I am about half way through, and if I didn't already think that Brene was the greatest person who is also a social worker, I do now. Her book is like therapy, and I think therapy is a great thing. Everyone should read it.

I am hoping to read a ton of the books that have been sitting on our book shelf this year (and especially before August). I am starting graduate school at UConn in August and will hopefully be an MSW by June 2016! I am not crazy about the idea of schoolwork again, but maybe reading a bunch of books will put me more in the mood. 

Stay tuned for a post about a window painting project I recently did. I also will be adding some adventure-themed pocket notebooks to my Etsy shop soon, so please check it out and spread the word!