His Eye is on the Sparrow

There is an old hymn that my grandmother used to sing. I remember her singing the last two lines of the chorus while she walked around the house:

Why should I feel discouraged, why should the shadows come,

Why should my heart be lonely, and long for heaven and home,

When Jesus is my portion? My constant friend is He:

His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;

His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

Refrain

I sing because I’m happy,

I sing because I’m free,

For His eye is on the sparrow,

And I know He watches me.

“Let not your heart be troubled,” His tender word I hear,

And resting on His goodness, I lose my doubts and fears;

Though by the path He leadeth, but one step I may see;

His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;

His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

Refrain

Whenever I am tempted, whenever clouds arise,

When songs give place to sighing, when hope within me dies,

I draw the closer to Him, from care He sets me free;

His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;

His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

[Civilla D. Martin, 1905]

Listen to a great version here ;]

I didn't know that this biblical truth (Matthew 6:25-34 & Luke 12:6-7) that the Lord cares for me (even more than the birds) would become a recurring solace for me in anxiety, but I am glad that my Grandma started singing that truth around me early on, because I need it in my life.

Another major time I needed, and found, this truth was in college. I needed it all the years but found it on the wall when I was living in an apartment off Baxter Street with some dear friends, Hannah and Alicia. When I moved in, they had a painted window of some birds and the verse in Matthew 6 that said "Look at the birds of the air... are you not much more valuable than they?" The year I lived with Hannah and Alicia was a year of monumental growth for me in confronting my anxiety as well as my defense and coping mechanisms (here's my plug for Christian counseling/therapy - it's great). I think the Lord had placed this little painting in our apartment as another reminder to me that He was there, and I didn't have to do everything on my own.

I tried to do everything on my own for different reasons: I thought I always had to be strong, I didn't allow myself freedom to fail or just be, and I did not necessarily believe that I was worthy of the Lord's affection or attention or caring watch. And in myself I am not worthy, but I am because He makes me worthy. It is a hard truth to swallow sometimes; I am not, but I am - The I am is, so I am. Why does he love me? I don't know. But He does. He loves me when I am weak and when I fail and even when I try to go it alone. And that love is beautiful if I accept it. He's got me; when I believe this, I am so much more at peace, I can encourage others, and I am sure I shine more of His light.

In an effort to remind myself of truth that I clearly need in my life, I made a copycat of the window painting from our UGA apartment. When Matt and I moved in to our new home in CT, someone was throwing out some old windows, so I snagged a few and put this one to use for my own home. I sanded the frame, secured all the pieces, and gave the frame a new layer of white paint. After cleaning the window I painted the birds on the glass and started tracing the words of the Matthew 6 verse.

When I finished painting and it was all dry, I screwed in two picture hangers on the back and hung it on two screws in the wall. It now sits in our living room over the TV. I hope it will continue to be a gentle reminder that He takes care of the birds and he takes care of me. He sees the birds and he sees me. His eye is on the sparrow, and I know he watches me.